Sweating Away in Singapore
There are a lot of things to love about living in Singapore. You often hear people who live here cite the city-state’s cleanliness, its safe feel, its modern skyline, countless tourist attractions, such as its incredible zoo and night safari, its rich cultural diversity, and, some would argue, its weather.
It’s true that there is value in the almost constant sunny, warm days, not to mention never worrying about a “polar vortex” striking. However, I have lived on this balmy, tropical isle for 12 years now, and if I were to speak truthfully, I’d say that Singapore’s weather really frustrates me.
When I get to complaining about the weather here, the number one target for my ire is the oppressive humidity. I don’t need any encouragement to get me sweating. I can drip with the best of them. Often I joke that I even sweat in the mighty Singaporean air conditioning.
That’s probably a bit of an exaggeration, but not much. Truly, as I plan for each outing around town, I have to carefully consider the “Steve Z Sweat Mark Factor” when choosing clothes. I don’t sweat just a little, like my wife - and I never actually see any sweat marks on her - no, I do it right. The mere action of walking a few meters, say to the nearest subway (known as MRT) station a couple hundred meters away causes my shirt to become vacuum sealed to my body.
And it’s actually worse when I stop. That’s when my personal Niagara Falls really starts to gush. Even after all of these years, I allow myself to be tricked into the idea that I have arrived at a walking destination sweat free. I hustle to where I want to go, nervously focused on the fact that I haven’t begun to sweat. I feel a sense of accomplishment that after a two minute walk outside I won’t look like I’ve just finished running a marathon.
And then I stop moving, and for the next ten minutes I’m mopping myself off with the sweat rag I have to carry wherever I go.
Recently my daughter started to attend the early childhood center at the school where I teach. This has been an exciting new stage in life for her and for me. I get a little extra time with her in the morning on our way to school. It also provided an unexpected opportunity for me to start my day a sweaty mess.
After arriving at school, I would bring her first to my classroom to finish eating her breakfast. Then we’d race down to her room for drop-off only for me to turn around and make the outdoor journey back to my classroom at a gallop as to avoid a late start. I was beginning each day huddled under the air con in my room, unmoving, with all of my students giggling at their gross, and drenched, teacher.
And it's not just the crazy humidity and sweat that gets me riled up. The weather here actually restricts my enjoyment of the great outdoors. If I don’t wake up at the crack of dawn and get started with a hike or an outdoor activity, I usually give up on the idea altogether. There have been countless times that I want to take my kids out to the playground or the pool only to have my (Singaporean!) wife say that it is too hot and sunny to be outside. So, begrudgingly we make alternate plans. Usually these involve a mall. (Oh, joy!) At least I won’t worry about sweating while we’re there. They are always kept at sub-Arctic temperatures.
And it gets worse. I can never relax and enjoy being outside in Singapore. I actually have to consider my wardrobe when the plan is to be outside for any period of time. To avoid unwanted attention due to huge sweat stains, I can wear exactly two colors: black and white.
As if the heat and humidity wasn’t enough, Singapore's complete lack of seasons puts me right over the edge! I’m a person who grew up in the American Midwest, so I need to see the leaves turn color in the fall.
I need to feel the cool, crisp air of October.
I long for a couple good “packing snow” dumps, so I can get my fill of making snowmen, having snowball fights and going sledding.
I yearn for the first few days of spring when the sun finally warms the skin and I can peel away the winter clothes.
Here in Singapore I get none of that. I get a whole lot of… well, you’ve already heard what I get a whole lot of.
People always say that if I stay here in Singapore long enough, I’ll “acclimate.” These are usually the same people who don’t sweat a drop when they play sports in the middle of the day over here, so while I want to believe them, I have my doubts. And until the day I do acclimate, you can find me inside.
In the air con.
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